Do any of you know a psychiatrist that can come off the bench? Because if you do, I would like to make her my girlfriend. Thanks.

“How do I know when it’s love? I can’t tell you but it lasts forever.”

~ Mr. Samuel Van Hagar

More, here.

I fell in love last summer. It was an unrequited love to be sure, but it was love. And I was sure of it. 

Fast forward to this summer. Fast forward to today. Just when I thought I had expunged the last remnant from my black heart, just when I thought I was finally OK to live again, my love comes rushing back, and I feel like, so weird and random. 

Eat raw turkey legs, pray for good weather, and love seminars. 

IT’S TIME TO GATHER!

If I had the chops to add a sparkle rose with graffiti font, I WOULD’VE TOTES DONE IT.

Upon bringing these home for Fabes the other day, I was suddenly overcome by an inexplicable craving for Jack in the Box and Jerry Springer.

P.S. If pooping ur pants is cool, consider me MILES DAVIS (thanks, Billy).

I like to think I have a similar bond with my own children, albeit with a different focus.

Betcha didn’t know I was THIS GUY!

If u don’t understand that, then see this. 

There’s a picture of the hat, on the hat. Vaguely reminds me of this. Moving towards the Idiocracy at breakneck speed.

Thanks, B.